I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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