id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
