is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
