Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
