That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
