haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
