She is in my trunk
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
