He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
