I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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