Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
