I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
