party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Randomize
