What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
