I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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