Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
