He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
