He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
