You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
