Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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