idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
