I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Sorry about my life...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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