my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
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