My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
