dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
