Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
