dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
