The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
