end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
