He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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