Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
