If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
