...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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