i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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