Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize