Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize
