he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
