You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
