That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
