The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
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