My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
