Dual....:-)
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
