After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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