You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
