i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
