Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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