Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
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