Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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