Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
