i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
