Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
