are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
As shirtless as possible
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
