I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
