He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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