sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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