so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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