I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
