Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
