I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
