I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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