As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
