So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
