Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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