hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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