I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
home. puking in laundry basket.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
