dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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