i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
