you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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